


coming home

by fillorianravenclaw



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Coming Out, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, Family Feels, Fluff, Found Family, Getting Together, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Maddie Buckley is a Good Sister, Protective Athena Grant, Protective Bobby Nash, Protective Firehouse 118 Crew (9-1-1 TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:35:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29807124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fillorianravenclaw/pseuds/fillorianravenclaw
Summary: five times the 118 show Buck what family means and one time he gives them something back
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 30
Kudos: 475





	1. Athena

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure there're probably similar fics out there but I've yet to see one and this idea just wouldn't leave me alone until I'd written it, so... here it is!  
> this takes place before season 4 btw!

When it happens, Buck’s not even on shift, unlike the rest of the team. It’s not often that they’re on shift at different times but it occurs every now and then unfortunately. He’s cruising through the grocery store when he hears the shout, and his instinct kicks in in a matter of seconds. Abandoning his shopping trolley and groceries, he runs for the door, feet pounding down the aisles of the shop before he bursts out into the afternoon sunlight.

“What’s going on?” Buck demands, catching the woman who was shouting by her arm. He instinctively runs his eyes over her, checking for injuries, but she seems unharmed besides her obvious distress.

“My daughter and her boyfriend,” the woman cries, gesturing at the house over the road. Buck’s eyes flit over the untouched building.

“I’m going to need more than that, ma’am,” he presses gently.

“I was talking to her over the phone,” she sobs, “I was on my way here to have lunch with them. But then- then she just- there was a shout and she cut off- and- and-”

“Okay, okay,” Buck soothes, easing the woman down until she’s sitting on the pavement. He glances at the small crowd that’s gathering and is relieved to see someone already on the phone to 911. “Is there any chance the boyfriend could be abusive?”

“No!” the woman cries, staring at Buck in horror. “Although… their- their roommate!”

“The roommate?”

“I never liked him,” the woman shakes her head, “He was- he- oh god!”

The woman crumples in sobs, and Buck hears a shrill scream from inside the house. Before he can stop himself, he’s moving away, running towards the house. In the back of his mind, he knows it’s stupid, but there are still minutes before any units turn up. Anything can happen in minutes.

When he reaches the door, he can hear the shouts coming from inside clearly and his heart leaps in his throat.

“Jamie! Jamie, put the gun down!”

“Jamie, I swear to god get your hands off of me or I’ll-”

Buck tries the door handle and rolls his eyes when it twists open without a fight. Silently, he pushes the door open, stepping inside on a hunter’s feet.

“Jamie- Jamie, _please_ ,” the sound of the girl’s desperate sobs echo down the hallway as Buck creeps along it, “I don’t know what I did! Jamie!”

He stops, right outside the room the voices are coming from, suddenly realising the situation he’s gotten himself into; no equipment, no team, no planning. He grabs the glass vase sitting on the shelf beside him, just in case.

“Come on, man, just- just let her go, alright? I don’t thi-”

“No! I heard the two of you! I heard what you were saying!”

“Jamie, we weren’t- we weren’t even _talking_ about you! I was calling my mum, you fucking psycho!”

There’s a yell and Buck dives around the corner, into the room. The next few things happen in a matter of seconds, so fast that Buck barely has the time to process it properly. First, his eyes meet the barrel of a gun, pointed to kill. Next, a police officer tackles the man from behind. Then, a fierce grip on his shoulders. Athena Grant’s furious gaze. A sea of police officers swarming into the house. Athena pushing him down the hallway and out of the front door.

“Get your ass outside,” she growls.

“LAPD, put your hands in the air,” Buck hears from the room as he backs out of the house. There are hands on him immediately and it takes Buck at least a minute to realise it’s Eddie and Chimney, their grips firm on his arms as if they think he’s some wild animal that’s going to make a run for it. He twists out of their hands, adrenalin still pumping through his veins, hands trembling with it. When he meets Eddie’s honey brown gaze, he’s not surprised to find irritation burning there, in the sharp lines of his clenched jaw and rigid posture.

“Are you trying to get yourself shot?” Athena’s shout startles the three of them and Buck swings around to see her storming out of the house, following the victims and their roommate, in handcuffs. All eyes follow her as she strides up to Buck, her whole posture screaming fury and Buck feels his own fists clench.

“I’m not an idiot, Athena, I knew what I was doing,” he growls.

“Oh, you did, did you? ‘Cause from where I was standing it looked a lot like you were jumping in there with nothing but a glass vase and were about to make the whole situation at least ten times worse,” she replies through gritted teeth. Buck lets out a bark of disbelieving laughter and feels Eddie’s hand clamp around his arm again. The adrenaline is coursing through him, churning his blood with it.

“Who do you think you are?” Buck demands, “I have training, I’m not some dumb kid. I was thinking on my feet because I didn’t want that poor girl to be shot through the fucking head!”

“Yet, you going in there with a glass vase raised could easily have put it there,” Athena replies, deadly quiet, not at all cowed by Buck’s anger. “You may not be ‘some dumb kid’ but you sure are acting like it. Get your act together, Buckley, reckless, impulsive behaviour isn’t going to get you anywhere.”

The words hit a nerve and Buck steps forward further, only to find Eddie's strong grip is holding him back. Later he’ll be grateful that the other man had been there to pull him down off the ledge of his own anger, but right now he wants nothing more than to rip his hands off him.

“Why do you give a shit?” Buck demands. “The three of them are perfectly fine, now, what’s the problem?”

“The problem? The problem is me walking in on you with a gun raised to your face, seconds away from lying dead on those floorboards,” Athena hisses. “You need to stop throwing your life around like you don’t give a damn what happens.”

Buck splutters, his anger momentarily cut off, replaced with blurry confusion. His brain is only now recognizing that if things had gone differently then there’s a high chance he’d still be in that house, bleeding out on the floor. It takes the air out of his chest like a sharp blow to the stomach and he falls back a little, winded, Eddie’s hands practically holding him up.

“But- what-” he struggles for the words.

“You’re going to be the death of me, Buck, I swear,” Athena sighs, and Buck can see that the anger is melting away to reveal fear, an unfamiliar emotion on the woman’s face.

“I don’t understand,” Buck says weakly, hating the way his strength has sapped out of him so quickly, leaving him bereft, empty. “Why do you care?”

Buck’s so focused on Athena that he barely registers the way Eddie’s hands still on his arm or the disbelieving noise Chimney makes. Athena’s staring at him in… in _sympathy_.

“Because I care about _you_ , Buck,” she tells him, her tone confused and Buck’s not sure why. “Because I love you like I love my own children, and I worry when you’re reckless and when you’re stupidly brave and I don’t want to see you get hurt. Why’s that so hard to understand?”

The ground feels unsteady beneath his feet as he sways, shakily, glad of the support Eddie’s providing. Why _is_ it so hard for him to understand? People rarely seem to care about him and actually mean it. Or worse; often when they do mean it they still end up leaving him anyway. But the woman standing before him isn’t his mother, it’s Athena Grant and Buck knows without a doubt that she has no reason to lie to him about caring - she’s not the kind of person who _would_.

Buck crumbles a little at her admission and then Athena’s moving forward and Buck crumbles that little bit more as she moves in to _hug_ him. Her embrace is warm and safe and everything Buck remembers a mother’s arms to feel like.

“This is uh… new,” Buck mumbles into her shoulder. She rubs his arm soothingly and then pulls away, all too soon, a fond expression curving her mouth upwards.

“Don’t get too used to it, Buckaroo,” she teases, before glancing back at Eddie and Chimney. “Make sure he doesn’t do anything else dumb, you two. And look after him.”

Buck can tell that Athena’s eyes are only on Eddie when she says that last sentence and his heart stutters weirdly in his chest at the words. She turns around, heading back to her car.

“Hey, wait!” Buck calls after her, catching her attention, and Athena spins back around, eyebrows raised expectantly. Buck rubs the back of his neck nervously. “I uh- I just wanted to say thank you,” he blurts out. “And… and I’m sorry, I guess.”

“Just don’t do it again,” Athena scolds, fondness bleeding into her tone. Then she turns back, an exasperated smile creeping onto her face, and climbs into her car.

The words feel like a safe haven as they wash over him and Buck wonders just how stupid he’d have to be to pull a similar stunt, just so he could hear her say them again.

“Don’t even think about it,” Eddie mutters roughly, releasing his grip on Buck’s arm with a light shove. Buck gapes at him.

“I didn’t say a word,” he splutters.

“I know that look,” Eddie tells him, his face all sharp lines and tense muscles, before it softens slightly. “She really cares about you, Buck, you don’t need to do anything ridiculously stupid to prove it.”

Embarrassingly, Buck’s cheeks flush with heat and he ducks his head. “That’s not why I did it.”

“I know that,” Eddie replies, rolling his eyes, “I mean anything stupider.”

“That sounds like a challenge.”

“Don’t you dare,” Eddie growls. Buck laughs light heartedly, feeling a fuzzy warmth spread across his chest. It’s true; he hadn’t done it to gain proof that Athena cares, but now that he’s got that proof he feels like the storm of uncertainty raging in his chest has quietened, just a little.


	2. Chimney (+ Maddie)

“Maddie?” Buck calls out, not too loudly because he’s all too aware that it’s only nine in the morning, but he’s been knocking on his sister’s door for at least five minutes now. He’s toeing the line between impatient and worried at this point. To make matters worse, he’d had a long, tiring shift yesterday and must’ve strained his bad leg somehow because he’s had a dull ache since he woke at least four hours ago.

“Ma-”

The door swings open, revealing none other than Chimney, half naked, a towel wrapped around his waist, with dripping wet hair.

“Morning, Chim,” Buck greets slowly, smiling in confusion.

“Oh dammit,” Chim mutters, bringing a hand up to his eyes and dragging it back, through his wet hair in exasperation.

“Everything okay?” Buck asks, moving past his friend and into the hallway, eyes searching for his sister. “No offence, but I was actually expecting Maddie? We were supposed to leave to get breakfast together 20 minutes ago.”

“Right, I totally forgot,” Chim nods, pushing the door shut behind him and following Buck through into the living room with a grimace on his face. “Only Maddie’s sick, woke up with a bit of a fever, and she’s currently out like a light.”

At whatever expression Buck’s face must have taken on, he continues hastily: “Nothing _bad_. She’s just not feeling one hundred percent, you know? I called in to her work so she won’t have to go in later.”

If there’s anyone Buck trusts with his sister’s health it’d be Chim. He relaxes slightly.

“Right,” Buck nods, feeling a little dejected. He’s gotten used to his and Maddie’s regularly scheduled breakfasts when they both have the day off. “Tell her to get well soon or else,” Buck flashes a tired grin, “I’ll just-”

He motions towards the door, heading back towards it, only to be stopped by Chim’s firm hand on his shoulder.

“Absolutely not,” Chimney shakes his head, steering Buck towards the sofa and pushing him down onto it.

“Uh,” Buck says eloquently, raising his eyebrows in consternation at his friend. “What exactly-”

“Stay there,” Chimney orders as he backs into the other room, “You look dead on your feet, Buckley, like hell I’m going to let you wander back out into the world looking like that.”

“Looking like… what?” He mutters. “You worked the same shift as me, Chim, I don’t need… _babying_.”

A thudding sound comes from the other room before Chimney resumes talking, choosing to ignore the last part of Buck’s reply. “Yes I did, but I woke up half an hour ago. You on the other hand…”

Chimney trails off as he re-enters the living room, dressed, eyebrows raised as he no doubt catalogues Buck’s stiff movements and the dark shadows beneath his eyes. He’s not _wrong_ ; Buck had woken at four and given up on trying to get back to sleep at five, when the pain in his leg was too constant and he couldn’t switch his stupid brain off. Like hell Buck’s going to admit that though.

Chimney moves into the kitchen and clunking sounds follow as he bustles around it. He returns with a steaming mug in each hand.

“Er… thanks,” he manages, taking the offered coffee and wrapping his hands around it’s warmth. “I really am fine though.”

“I never said you weren’t. There’s a difference between being fine and being tired, Buck,” Chim rolls his eyes as he settles beside Buck on the sofa. “Anyway, I could use the company.”

Buck gives in without protest because he doesn’t actually _want_ to go back home to his empty apartment on his own on his day off. The silence back there is suffocating, the whole apartment is really, and Buck can only stand it when it’s filled with Eddie’s laughter, or Chris’ chatter, or Maddie’s gossip.

Chim switches the TV on and it soon becomes background noise as Buck gets wrapped up in telling his friend story after story about how Maddie would look after him when he was sick when they were younger. He curls into the sofa, adamant to ignore the throbbing pain of his leg as he props it carefully on the footrest, receiving only a raised eyebrow from Chim. After at least an hour, his sister comes shuffling out into the hallway, wrapped head to toe in a duvet, face pale and hair dishevelled. She takes one look at Buck and grimaces.

“Oh shit we were meant to get breakfast,” she mumbles in annoyance.

“Hey, it’s fine, you’re sick, Mads,” Buck reassures. Chimney gets to his feet quickly, ready to be at his girlfriend’s beck and call.

“Do you need something? I can get you some tea? Soup? Coffee? Water? Whatever you need.”

Maddie’s face falls into a grateful smile as she stares at Chim in wonder. “A cup of tea would be lovely,” she murmurs. Chimney nods, drops a gentle kiss to Maddie’s cheek, and disappears back into the kitchen to make it.

“I don’t know how I ever got so lucky,” Maddie mumbles in awe as she curls up beside Buck on the sofa to wait.

“You deserve it,” Buck tells her firmly. If anyone deserves the domestic bliss Maddie and Chimney seem to have achieved, it’s his sister. God knows, Buck has a long way to go before he could find something like that.

“So do you,” she sighs, nudging his arm with hers. Then, completely unrelated: “What’s Eddie doing today?”

“Uh… he’s taking Chris out to an amusement park with his friend?” Buck replies, in confusion. “That was a speedy topic change.”

“Was it?” Maddie deadpans half heartedly, dropping her head onto his shoulder. He shifts so that she can rest it more comfortably there, grimacing at the twist of pain in his calf as he does. Maddie jerks her head up.

“Your leg’s hurting,” she comments, brown eyes narrow and searching as they flit from Buck’s face to his leg and back again. Trust Maddie to pick up on such little things when she’s ill herself. Buck throws his head back against the sofa in annoyance.

“It’s not an issue, it just happens every now and then,” Buck protests, “I just need to do my exercises and everything. It’s fine.”

“Not an issue, my ass,” Maddie mumbles, just as Chim returns to the room. He hands the mug to her and she gets to her feet with a scowl directed at Buck. Somehow she’s managed to perfect it to be a mixture of concerned and irritated at the same time.

“If you need anything just shout,” Chim tells her as she retreats back down the hallway. He turns and fixes Buck with an exasperated stare.

“What?”

“Your leg’s still causing you issues?”

“It’s not- ugh jesus christ-” Buck protests, dragging a hand down over his face. “It’s not a problem or anything. The doctor said it would happen now and again, I just gotta stretch it out and shit. I swear I’m not about to start coughing up blood on your lovely, cream carpet.”

For reasons Buck cannot comprehend, his reply only increases the exasperation on Chim’s face.

“I wasn’t worried about _that_ ,” Chimney stresses, staring at Buck like he’s lost his mind. “I’m a trained paramedic, Buck, I’m not worried about your health. I just- It’s been _months_ , and you haven’t let any of us know.”

“Maddie knows,” Buck supplies unhelpfully, “And I’m pretty sure Eddie knows too.”

“Yeah, well, no shit. But Bobby? Hen? _Me?_ We do actually care, Buck, even if it’s just letting us know that your leg’s playing up one day.”

Buck stares at him, speechless, for a moment. He has half a mind to argue further but instead he backs down. “I’ll- I’m sorry. I’ll try and do that in the future,” Buck replies quietly.

“Good,” Chim huffs, depositing himself down beside Buck, “Do better, Buckaroo.”

Buck smiles softly at the nickname, meeting Chim’s withering glare. Buck’s never had a brother before but if he did, he’s pretty sure this is what it would feel like; Chim’s fast-paced banter and teasing comments and the subtle reassurances that are hidden within the jokes. He can’t imagine ever telling such a thing to Chimney, though. Sometimes he gets the feeling that Chim only sees him as his girlfriend’s exhausting brother and work colleague, someone he has to put up with but would never talk to if it weren’t for the situation.

Maybe that’s just his insecurities talking.

“Hey, you know if you want you can take a hot shower?” Chimney offers, his eyes wide and worried as Buck holds in another hiss of pain. It shocks him to his core to see Chimney so genuinely concerned for him, but for some reason, the offer of a hot shower shocks him that much more. Before he can even express his gratitude, his friend is talking again. “Or you can do your stretches? I don’t mind, man, I’ll even do them with you if you want.”

The suggestion draws a wondering smile across his face, much like Maddie’s earlier, at the kind of person Chimney is. He covers it quickly with a scoff of laughter because he and Chimney are hardly the type of people to sit and talk about feelings.

“Yeah right,” he laughs, “I’d like to see you try.”

Chimney wrinkles his nose a little and nods in consideration. “You’re right, I’d rather not embarrass myself like that. But you can feel free to do so.”

So he does. Chimney helps him push back the coffee table so that he has space to do the exercises and then sits back on the sofa, making teasing offhand comments every now and then. Buck laughs along with him, interspersing Chimney’s running commentary with a snap back at him every now and then. By the time he’s done them all the pain in his leg’s lessened blissfully and he falls back onto the sofa beside Chimney.

“Feel better?” his friend raises an eyebrow.

“Infinitely,” Buck replies, gratefully, “Hey, thanks, by the way. Y’know for…” He trails off because he can’t really say _everything_ but it sure feels like he should.

“No problem, man,” Chim smiles, clapping a hand on his arm, “That’s what brothers are for, right?”

Buck feels a little like he’s plummeting off a cliff, he falters, eyes wide.

“I mean we might as well be?” Chimney continues at whatever face Buck’s pulling. “Me and Maddie… Well, whenever I end up proposing, it’ll be real, but we already _are_ , aren’t we?”

“Okay,” Buck replies quietly, because he really doesn’t know what else to say. “I’ve always wanted a brother.”

“Well, you’ve got one.”

“Jesus, I leave you two alone for an hour and you adopt each other into the family.”

Buck jerks his head up to find Maddie, standing rumpled in the doorway again. The small smile on her face completely betrays the tone of her comment and she’s staring at Buck like she knows exactly what’s going through his head. He’s always been see-through to her. Funny, considering half the time _Buck_ can hardly figure out what’s going through his head.

“Feeling any better, Mads?” Chim asks her.

“A little. I might be up for some soup for lunch?” she suggests as Chimney gets up and wraps an arm around her. It makes the loneliness in Buck’s chest dig its fingers in just a little.

“I’m glad.”

“What was that I heard about proposing?” she asks cheekily, and even if he’s jealous of the happiness they’ve found with each other, Buck’s so sickeningly _happy_ for his sister that it outweighs any other feelings. He watches Chimney splutter and stumble over his words for a moment before Maddie gives him a playful shove. “I’m kidding,” she laughs, “Whenever you feel ready.”

Chimney smiles down at her like she hung the moon. Buck coughs awkwardly and the pair of them snap out of it.

“You staying for lunch, Buck?” Chimney asks. “Looks like it’ll be the three of us.”

He hadn’t been planning on it, but he shrugs and gives in, “Why not? I’ve got nowhere else to be.”


	3. Bobby

Athena’s house is buzzing noisily with people in just the way Buck likes by ten o’clock. The woman in question has single handedly pulled off a party for Bobby’s birthday and it’s going off without a hitch. Buck has yet to actually track Bobby down and wish him a happy birthday, but he has all night and, currently, a lapful of Christopher Diaz. The boy is unbelievably clingy.

“What about the time when that man got a microwave cemented to his head?” Christopher asks innocently, encouraging a startled laugh from Buck.

“Your dad told you about that one too, huh?” Buck laughs.

“Yeah, but I want to hear it from you,” Christopher grins. “You tell the stories so much better.”

“Damn right, I do,” Buck shoots a smirk in Eddie’s direction, receiving a confused frown back. “Alright, then--”

Buck cuts off what he was saying, interrupted by his phone, vibrating in his pocket. He pulls away from Christopher a little to pull it out. _Dad_ it reads. Buck’s breath catches nervously in his throat and he shoots a quick glance in Maddie’s direction but she’s laughing obliviously with Karen. He doesn’t want to leave Chris, the boy has nestled his way right into Buck’s heart and if he had any choice in the matter he’d spend every waking minute with him, but the sight of his dad’s name flashing up across the screen makes him feel twelve years old again, head bowed and cheeks red as his parents’ words of disappointment wash over him. Stupidly, he wants to hear what they have to say.

“Hey uh- I’ll be back in a minute, Chris,” Buck tells him, “Just gotta take this, alright?”

He stands from his seat, weaving through the bodies until he makes his way into the deserted kitchen.

“Hi, dad,” Buck greets.

“Ah, Evan, I was just ringing to ask if you could talk with your mother sometime this week,” his dad asks, without so much of a greeting and Buck pulls the phone away from his face completely to stare at it in confusion.

“Uh- what?” he demands, putting it back to his ear.

“You heard me perfectly fine,” his dad sighs, “Give her a ring, she wants to talk to you.”

“No, no I heard you fine, I’m just wondering why you’re calling _me_ to ask me to talk to _her_? Is she incapable of calling me herself?”

“Evan, I don’t think it’s too much to ask you to ca--”

“No you don’t think it’s too much, of course not! This is the first I’ve heard from you in months and you didn’t even say hello, you haven’t asked me how I am, you don’t even…,” Buck trails off angrily. The words _you don’t even care_ hardly need saying at this point. “Dad, if mum cares so much, she can give me a damn call, it’s not fucking rocket science!”

“Watch your language,” his father reprimands and Buck bristles, “You know how she is, she likes it when you call her yourself, shows you care, which, right now, I’m really doubting.”

“What?” he demands, outraged, quickly remembering there are people milling around just outside and lowering his voice. Angry tears distort his vision and he swipes at them with the back of his hand in irritation. “The past three times I’ve tried calling mom, she’s been ‘busy’,” Buck hisses, “And now, when she does want to talk to me, she can’t even-- you know what, I don’t give a damn, I don’t want to talk to either of you right now.”

“Evan Bu--”

Buck disconnects the call and slams his phone down on the kitchen counter, pressing his palms to his eyes. Sometimes he wonders where he went wrong, what he did that stopped his parents from loving him. He knows he was reckless and a handful and probably a lot more than they ever bargained for, but _now_? He’s proud of the person he’s become. Even when he’s worked so hard to change himself and better himself, even now they don’t love him. Hell, they probably don’t even _like_ him.

“Buck,” Bobby’s voice startles him from his thoughts and Buck takes a steadying inhale before spinning around on his heel. Bobby’s stood, leaning against the doorframe, looking like he’s been there for a while. Buck’s cheeks flush red. It feels like divine retribution that he hangs up on his father and turns to meet the eyes of the one person Buck actually views as a father figure.

“You didn’t all hear that did you?” Buck asks nervously, avoiding the Captain’s eyes.

“Doubt it,” Bobby shakes his head with a glance out at the group outside. “I only heard the end. I would’ve given you some privacy but uh--” The captain shifts on his feet and then moves closer, properly into the room. “You know that you don’t deserve to be treated like that, don’t you?”

Buck finds Bobby’s brown eyes with uncertainty, they hold so much concern and love that Buck doesn’t know what to do with it.

“Treated like what?” Buck asks, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously.

Bobby gestures at where Buck’s phone is lying, face down on the table. “Like you only exist when it’s convenient to them,” Bobby replies, hitting the nail on the head so perfectly that it knocks the breath out of Buck’s chest a little.

“I don’t- They’re not-” Buck struggles, jaw clenched, looking for the right words, “You don’t know the whole story.”

Bobby shrugs, pulling a face that says _why the hell should that matter_.

“Maybe not,” the other man nods, “But I do know you. I know the man you’ve built yourself into and I know that the firefighter I work with, the brother,” Bobby gestures out the window at Maddie, “the friend, the… father figure,” he raises his eyebrows, gaze following Christopher, “I know that he deserves better than that.”

Does he? Buck’s always hated the relationship he has with his parents, but he’s never thought to question that maybe he deserved better. As a kid, the blame for their strained relationship was always laid at Buck’s feet.

“I was never exactly a kid that was easy to love,” Buck mutters in protest. He’s not looking at Bobby when he says it, his eyes are wandering over a picture frame on the side with Athena, Michael, May and a tiny baby Harry in it, but he can feel the moment Bobby stiffens and his body language changes.

“Buck…,” Bobby whispers, disappointment colouring his tone and for a second he wonders if he said the wrong thing. “What do you mean?”

“You saw it when I first got here, Cap,” Buck argues, ignoring the lump in his throat and the sheen of tears threatening to spill. “I’m- I was a handful. I was stupidly reckless and I didn’t think before I did things, especially not about other people’s feelings. I was- I was arrogant and cocky, I thought I knew everything when really I had no clue. Not a lot has changed, to be-”

“Stop.” Bobby holds up a hand to bring his spiralling rant screeching to a halt. Buck’s silently grateful as he heaves a shuddering breath. “Listen. As a parent myself, there is not one thing that my kids could have done, or that Harry and May could do that would ever stop me loving them. The same goes for you. If your parents can’t see the obvious goodness in you that’s their damn problem, and I hate that you’re burdened with that but it _isn’t your fault_. It’s theirs.”

Buck’s ashamed to feel the sting of tears at his lash-line and scrubs, embarrassed, at his eyes at Bobby’s words.

“Never knew you to be so sappy, Cap,” Buck laughs wetly.

“Hey,” Bobby says gently, and Buck hears that tone used so rarely, usually directed at May or Harry rather than him, that he actually falters. A hand catches his arm lightly and pulls his hand away from his eyes, letting the tears fall without a fight anymore. “I mean it. You’re a good man and I’d be proud to have you as my son.”

Buck squints at him. “Really?”

“Really.”

“But-- I’m not- I don’t… I’m disobedient, I don’t do what you say, I- I cause you more trouble than I’m worth,” Buck argues, unsure why he’s doing it but knowing deep down that if his experiences have taught him one thing it’s to doubt people when they say they care. Bobby frowns and scoffs in disbelief.

“Yeah, you absolutely do. _Sometimes_. But you’re also one of the best firefighters I’ve had the chance to work with. You get knocked down, and you get right back up again. You’re stronger than most and you have a heart at least twice the size of your body. You’re a good man,” he repeats firmly, with a tone that leaves no room for argument. If Buck was blushing before, then he’s almost certainly bright red now.

“But- But the lawsuit- the- and you fired me- and you put me on light duty-” Buck splutters.

“Because I _care_ ,” Bobby emphasises, “I also sat through hospital visits with you and made sure you had everything you needed when your leg was still in that cast. Because I care.”

“I know you did,” Buck whispers, because he could never forget. Besides Eddie and Maddie, Bobby was his strongest shoulder to lean on during that time. “And my parents… my parents didn’t even call.”

Bobby’s jaw clenches. “That’s my point, Buck. You deserve better than that. Parents… they make mistakes, that’s fair. I had my fair share, myself. But you can’t sit around waiting for them to change their ways - you have to get on with your life. If they decide to make things right - to _treat you_ right - then they’ll show it, they’ll make the effort. Don’t put yourself through it while you wait for them.”

Buck stares at Bobby, surprise and gratitude coursing through him. It’s probably the most the other man has ever said to him about how he feels.

“You have people here that love you, Buck,” Bobby finishes meaningfully, “Don’t forget that.”

Buck blinks hard against the tears blurring his vision, nodding his head to what the Captain said. He claps a hand on Buck’s shoulder, a warm, steadying point of contact, anchoring Buck to reality. A reality where he has people that love him - a _family_ that loves him.

“Come on, son,” Bobby says, and Buck releases a wet laugh at the endearment, “I believe there’s a kid out there waiting for you.”


	4. Hen

Buck’s hair is dripping wet and cold down his back when he emerges from the station’s showers, not bothering to have rubbed it dry. He’s got two hours left of the shift and he’s ready to go home and collapse at this point. It hasn’t been a chaotic day in terms of the number of calls they’ve been on, but it’s been an emotionally taxing one. On the last call, a child had died minutes after Buck had pulled her from the wreckage of her home. Before that, the team had dealt with a man so badly injured he’d never walk again. Needless to say, Buck would’ve preferred a day chock full of light, easy-going calls where he can save everyone. But alas, he’s a firefighter, people die, injuries happen, lives get torn apart, life goes on.

He shoulders open the door to the locker room, eyes flicking to the other person already in there; Eddie. And holy mother of-

Buck stumbles, ramming his knee into one of the benches and catching himself quickly before he face plants into the floor.

“Jesus christ, Buck,” he hears as Eddie approaches from behind, his voice a confusing mixture of concern and amusement.

Look: it’s not like Buck’s never seen Eddie shirtless before. He _has_. Multiple times. And he won’t be the first to say that the man has a damn good body. Objectively speaking, of course. So what if he feels that swoop in his stomach or his mouth dries up when he sees it? Buck can easily blame that on jealousy. And… sometimes his legs are too damn long for their own good and his feet lose coordination. It’s just pure coincidence that he almost face planted at the sight of Eddie’s perfect body.

“I meant to do that,” he assures Eddie hastily, pulling himself upright far too fast and almost slamming his head into Eddie’s. He drops his gaze down to Eddie’s chest, glistening with sweat. He hadn’t realised how close the other man was.

“You… meant to fall face first into that bench?” Eddie squints at him, mouth twitching. He’s doing a good job at holding in whatever sassy comment is on the tip of his tongue, or the inevitable good-natured laughter that Buck is sure is bubbling in his chest.

“Don’t laugh,” Buck grumbles because, one, he doesn’t know what else to say, and two, he frankly can’t tear his eyes from Eddie’s chest and for some reason that has an effect on whatever part of his brain is for putting together actual, logical sentences.

“I’m not- nope, I’m definitely not laughing-,” Eddie, the traitor, laughs. His shoulders shake with it and up close Buck can see the pull of muscles in his arms.

“You’re alright, though?” Eddie asks, sobering a little and using a hand to guide Buck’s chin upwards so his eyes are no longer glued on Eddie’s arms. “My eyes are up here,” he tells Buck in a low voice, and if Buck weren’t so fixated on Eddie’s arms then he might drop dead at the way Eddie’s fingers tilted his face or the smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.

If Buck didn’t know better he’d say the other man was _flirting_ with him. If Buck didn’t know better he’d say he _liked_ being flirted with by Eddie Diaz.

“Oh, shit.”

“What?” Eddie asks innocently. Did he say that out loud? Times like these Buck wishes he had more of a filter. He curses his stupid eyeballs when they drop back to the muscles in Eddie’s arms. Now that he’s opened his mind to the idea of it, there’s a rushing flood of images of exactly _what_ he wants those arms to do to him.

“Oh, _shit_ ,” he emphasises, eyes wide and cheeks burning because if there were a time to have a sexuality crisis it would not be now, standing in front of his half-naked heterosexual best friend after tripping over his own feet.

Obviously now the only solution is to flee the scene as fast as possible before his hopeless, filter-less mouth starts rambling about all the things he’s quickly realising he wants Eddie Diaz to do to him. He does exactly that, brushing past Eddie’s shoulder on the way out and feeling a flare of heat in his stomach as he does. If he stumbles when he crosses the threshold out of the locker room then nobody has to know. Nobody besides Eddie, of course, who’s most likely staring in confusion at Buck’s disappearing figure.

“What the hell... Buck?” Buck hears behind him in confusion as he leaves Eddie in the dust.

Thankfully the bunk rooms are blissfully empty when Buck gets there, depositing himself down on the edge of one of the beds so he can have his sexuality crisis in peace. His brain is taking now as the perfect time to catalogue every interaction Buck has ever had with another man and file it under, _yes we were definitely flirting I was just too oblivious to realise_ , or _ugh no that was totally platonic_. There’s also an _I’m probably hopelessly in love with you and never realised it until now_ category.

Eddie’s name seems to be pretty recurring in that one.

 _Eddie_. Buck’s best friend, Eddie. How had he never noticed? All those times, when Eddie had said something or done something, got off an exhausting shift and told Buck he had to go home and look after Christopher or steadily told Buck that he’d always have his back and Buck’s stomach had fluttered. He’s aware he’s an oblivious idiot at the best of times but to not realise that he’d spent the past two years falling hopelessly in love with someone...

“Are you gay?”

Buck startles, flinching so hard he sends his leg right into the side of the bed and sending yet another jarring pain coursing through it.

“What?!” He squawks, biting his tongue against the pain and praying this shift would end faster.

“….I said are you okay?” It’s Hen’s voice, gently concerned with an edge of amusement from behind him.

“Fucking hell,” Buck curses under his breath, rubbing his leg. He laughs, probably a little hysterically, and turns to catch her gaze. “Yes. Absolutely. I’m fine. Perfect, even. Never better,” he tells her, unconvincingly. If anyone’s going to see the obvious _I just realised I’m gay for my best friend_ written across his face, it’d be Hen.

“Okay…,” she replies, drawing out the word with uncertainty. “Only, you looked like someone had lit a fire under your ass when you sprinted past us to get in here.”

“Did I?” Buck questions, voice embarrassingly high-pitched with hysterics. Hen moves round and sits down beside him, regarding him with curious eyes.

“You did,” she confirms, “Eddie followed you out, by the way. Shirtless, I might add.”

Buck swallows. _Don’t think about shirtless Eddie, don’t think about shirtless Eddie._

“Shirtless? I hadn’t noticed.”

“Buckaroo,” Hen addresses him softly, “What happened?”

“I like women,” Buck replies firmly, staring steadfastly at the wall.

“I hadn’t noticed,” Hen returns drily, clearly confused as to the relevance of his answer.

“No, but,” Buck turns to meet her gaze, knowing his eyes probably look more than a little deranged, “I like _men_ , too.”

“I… hadn’t noticed,” she replies, seriously this time. Her eyes widen so much they look like they’re about to bug out of her head and her mouth drops open, quirking up at the corners. “Oh my _god_ ,” she emphasises in realisation, pressing a hand over her mouth in delighted shock.

“Wha- It’s really not… Hen-”

“You’ve got it bad for Eddie!” Hen squeals, far too loudly, and frankly quite inconsiderately. Buck claps his own hand back over her mouth with a glare. She erupts into peals of laughter behind his palm.

“Shut up,” Buck hisses. She shoves his hand away from her mouth.

“How did I never realise?” Hen demands gleefully, “All those times… and that time I walked in on the two of you in the gym and you were practically drooling over the sight of him-”

“Hen.”

“-and I told myself you were just really jealous of his body, but, _oh no_ , you wanted to jump him right there and then-”

“Hen!”

“-holy shit, Buck, remember that time-”

“Stop talking!” Buck demands, cutting her off sharply and dropping his head into his hands in exasperation.

“Sorry,” Hen says hastily, her tone switching quickly to one of guilt. “You… you didn’t know?” she asks uncertainly after a moment. It must be weird for her, considering she’s known she’s liked women since way back when.

“No! No, I didn’t know!” Buck exclaims hysterically, “What the fuck! How did I not fucking realise!”

“Hey, it’s not… you know you don’t have to worry about it, right?” Hen reassures him, and Buck almost wishes she’d go back to relentlessly ribbing him. She places a palm on his shoulder in a symbol of comfort. “We’ll all support you.”

The words draw up an uncomfortable longing in his chest. He knows they’d support him, he knows no one at the firehouse would care if they found out he wasn’t as straight as he’d let them think. But it’s not _their_ support he wants.

“Hey,” Hen shakes him gently, “What’re you so worried about? What are you thinking, Buck?”

“My parents,” Buck mutters, and if his tone is brimming with anger Hen doesn’t comment on it. He glances up in time to see her jaw clench and feels her hand still where it was rubbing soothing circles against the fabric of his shirt.

“They don’t matter,” Hen tells him.

“But they _do_ ,” Buck replies, voice strained with distress. “That’s the problem. That’s probably why I never let myself realise until now,” Buck lets out a bitter laugh, “Y’know it’s probably their fault I was so intent on sleeping with every woman who looked my way.”

Hen grimaces at his words.

“I know, sorry,” Buck mutters, “It’s not an excuse.”

“No, it’s not,” Hen nods, “But it explains a lot. So they wouldn’t have been happy with a bisexual son?”

“Bisexual,” Buck mutters consideringly. The word fits so perfectly, Buck feels a little breathless with relief. He takes a moment to gather himself before answering Hen’s question. “No, they would have hated it. I was already enough trouble as it was.”

Hen hums in consideration. “Well, they aren’t here, Buckaroo. _I’m_ here,” she tells him, voice firm and steady like a raft in a storm. “And I’ll be here when you’re ready to tell the others.”

“Fuck,” Buck mumbles, cursing the burn of tears behind his eyes. Sometimes he hates his stupid emotions. He presses his palms to his eyes in a futile attempt to suppress them. “I just-”

The words won’t come and instead Buck lets out an embarrassing, choked out sob. As a rule, Buck doesn’t let himself cry in front of other people, doesn’t let his walls come down far enough for that. There’ve been times when he simply couldn’t help it, but never anything like this. He’s teetering on the edge of losing control completely and he doesn’t want Hen there to see it.

Buck begins to pull away, to shrug off her hand, but instead, as if she’s predicted his every move, she pulls him into her arms, letting his head rest gently against her chest. That’s all it takes. He gives in and the tears stream down his cheeks, dampening Hen’s shirt.

“It’s okay,” she tells him firmly, “It’ll be alright.”

“I’m sorry,” Buck tries, but that’s even more embarrassing because his voice is hoarse and cracking.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Hen reassures him, “It’s okay to be upset. It can be scary.”

Something resembling a mixture between a sob and a huff of laughter escapes his lips. “I’m not scared,” he replies, “I’m angry and I’m upset and I’m… I’m _relieved_. But I’m not scared.”

Hen scoffs. “‘Course you’re not,” and Buck can hear the smile in her voice, “Usually I’d tell you that’s your stupidity talking, but right now I think I’d call it bravery.”

Buck pulls away from her, his smile weak and watery, but there all the same, as he raises his eyebrows. “Oh yeah?” He chuckles.

“I’m not saying it again.”

Buck pouts at her, glad of the distraction, fluttering his eyelashes. “Oh but _please_ ,” Buck pleads jokingly, his voice still hoarse, “Tell me how brave I am, Hen, I just might _swoon_.”

He presses the back of his hand to his forehead, mockingly throwing himself against her.

“Dear god, what have I done,” she mutters, holding back laughter as she shoves Buck off of her lap. “I think my work here is done.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Buck smiles, feeling himself brighten by the second, “Now I just need to tell the entire 118 Henrietta Wilson thinks I’m _brave_.”

Hen snorts as she gets up, making her way to the door with Buck at her heels. “As if they’d believe you.”


	5. Eddie

The call had been a bad one from the get go. A nursery, full of young, scared children. The ride there had been tense and Buck’s hand hadn’t moved from the warm heat of Eddie’s tense shoulder once.

It only got worse when they arrived and were thrust headfirst into the chaos. They’re all trained for it, but nobody can ever properly prepare themselves for entering a burning building to the sight of screaming children.

They work fast and professionally, not letting themselves get caught up in emotion when one of the children is pulled from the wreckage of the building, his body battered from the collapsing ceiling. Buck doesn’t need to see under Eddie’s mask to know that he’s deathly pale.

They’re almost done, he’s herding one of the last nursery workers out, just metres behind Eddie when his radio crackles in his hand.

“Buckley, Diaz, you need to get out. The building’s going down.”

“Copy that, Cap.”

“Help!” The scream is shrill and heart-wrenching as it rips through the smoke and flames.

“Hold on, Cap, there’s still a kid in here.”

“Buck- You’ve got minutes, do what you can and then I need you out of there.”

“Copy.”

He pushes through the rubble until the young girl’s silhouette is visible against the flames. One of the ceiling’s beams has fallen through and it’s all but pinned her to the wall.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Buck reassures her over the roaring of the fire as he approaches, “It’s going to be okay. I’m gonna get you out of here. Does it hurt?”

The girl shakes her head, the tears on her face carving tracks through the dust and smoke.

“Cap, she’s trapped against the wall, doesn’t look like she’s in any pain, though, besides burns. I can get her out,” Buck radios.

“Be quick about it, we’ve got medics on stand by for both of you. I can’t risk sending anyone in after you though so don’t waste anymore time.”

“I’m on it.”

“What’s your name?” Buck asks the terrified girl as he moves to pick up a chair.

“Eloise,” the girl replies, her voice hoarse from the smoke, so quiet Buck hardly hears it. He moves the chair he’s grabbed to lever the ceiling beam, using all his strength to wrench it upwards and away from the girl.

“Buckley, you nee--”

His radio crackles.

“What?”

“Get out of there, now!” He hears it loud and clear this time and jumpstarts into action, swinging the girl out and into his arms.

There's a split second between when Buck hears the condemning crack and the moment the ceiling collapses on top of the pair of them. A second in which he glances upwards and sees crumbling darkness descending from above.

His heart beats a slow-motion staccato as he dives, curling himself around the smaller child for protection and driving himself and the girl under the beam. His brain is screaming jumbled nothings at him; _not again! Eddie. Protect the girl. Eddie. Oh god not again. I can’t--_

Then, darkness. Pain. A voice in his ear. Someone screaming. _Him_. That’s him screaming.

“Buckley-- Buck! Buck, do you copy?”

The shuddering breath his body gasps in is more pain than it’s worth. For a second, he prays that maybe he’s just trapped in one of those awful nightmares again, screaming and screaming at no one to get him out. But it’s not a fire truck, it’s a whole building. It’s not his leg, it’s his whole body. And the pain is horribly, _torturously_ real.

“Buck!” It’s a different voice in his ear now and the distress colouring it sends a shock down Buck’s already screaming spine. “Buck, please! Buck, can you hear me?”

“Eddie,” Buck gasps out around his heavy, numb tongue. He tries desperately to catalogue his surroundings. One arm is still tightly wrapped around the girl beneath him. She’s unconscious. He moves on to try and catalogue his own injuries, but all he can find is a consuming, searing pain and the weight of what feels like a whole building on his back. He doesn’t want to think about the truth of that sentiment.

“Eddie,” he gasps again, only this time it’s closer to sob.

“Buck, it’s okay, it’s alright, they’re getting you out,” Eddie tells him, his words rolling into one and coming out in one breath. Buck can see light now, where the wall must’ve collapsed with the ceiling. He stretches his free arm out towards it, clawing desperately at the little beam of hope.

Biting his tongue against his body’s screaming protests, he pushes himself up a little, dragging himself forward through the rubble, still clutching the girl to his chest with his other arm. He makes it barely half an inch.

“Eddie,” he whispers, one more time, as if he’s stuck on repeat and _Eddie_ is the only word left in his vocabulary. He can’t think of any other words he’d rather say.

He blacks out and wakes to hands.

“You’re alright, Buckaroo,” someone is saying as his body rolls with their guiding hands. It sounds like Hen. It’s not the voice he wants to hear.

“We’ve got you, kid.”

“You’re gonna give us all a heart attack one day, Buck, I swear.”

Buck blinks his eyes open to sunlight and feels relief flood through him in waves.

“Th- the girl--” Buck tries, his voice so hoarse it barely makes a sound, “There was- the--”

“She’s okay,” Chimney reassures hastily, “A little banged up but you saved her from the worst of it.”

The rest of the tension seeps completely from his bones at Chimney’s words and he’s left with only the brutal, draining exhaustion and pain.

“Eddie,” he says again. The part of his brain that’s starting to kick in with actual functioning thoughts besides acknowledgements of pain addresses that his constant demand for his best friend might not seem platonic much longer. Buck doesn’t give a damn.

Hen chuckles at him, but it doesn’t sound particularly humorous and there’s a lingering edge of terror in her voice when she speaks. “Cap’s just having a word with him. The both of them will be here in just a second and then we’ll leave for the hospital. You’ve got some broken ribs and a concussion, Buckaroo, and we need to make sure it’s nothing worse. You’re not in great shape.”

Buck nods numbly. He doesn’t _care_. He just wants Eddie.

“Buck!” As if answering his thoughts, Eddie’s there all of a sudden, one hand coming up to cradle his face gently, his big brown eyes monopolising Buck’s vision until he can’t see anything else. Buck’s delirious mind likens him to that of an angel as his palm slides tenderly over Buck’s trembling skin.

“Eddie,” he says, and he’s smiling with the relief of it.

“I’m riding in the ambulance with him,” Eddie looks up to tell the group firmly and receives no argument.

“We didn’t think otherwise,” Chim replies.

Eddie doesn’t let go of his hand whilst he’s being wheeled into the ambulance and he doesn’t let go of it when Chimney starts properly addressing his injuries either. Buck doesn’t want him to have to, ever.

“Hey- hey, don’t cry,” Eddie tells him softly, and Buck hadn’t even realised he was. Now he can taste the salt on his lips and feel the heat as the tears slide down his cheeks.

“Sorry,” Buck replies hoarsely, but the tears don’t stop. Eddie rolls his eyes fondly and grips his hand even tighter. If he increases his grip anymore Buck’s a little worried that he might cut off his circulation altogether. He doesn’t ask him to let go.

“You’re okay now, Buck,” Eddie tells him, so sincere that Buck believes it, “You’re safe now. We’ll get you patched up and you can come home to us, alright? You can come home to your family.”

Buck’s mind blanches at the word and his heart stutters in his chest as he traces Eddie’s genuine expression with his eyes.

“Family?” he asks quietly. The word breaches something neither of them have discussed before, but in Buck’s feverish state he can’t begin to figure out if Eddie means it in the way he wants him to.

“Family,” Eddie repeats firmly. His shaky smile is the only thing Buck can see, oblivious to Chimney’s fingers, still flitting around his head injury, or the noise of the radio crackling up front where Hen’s driving.

The warmth blooming in Buck’s chest is almost enough to chase the pain away completely and he can’t hold it in any longer. It’s bursting out, and Buck’s cracking at the seams with it, with the need to tell Eddie. To tell _everyone_. The back of an ambulance is hardly the best place for love confessions but the words won’t wait any longer, clawing impatiently up his throat.

“Eddie- Eddie, I-” He starts, voice choked with emotion.

There’s a whisper of _‘holy shit’_ from somewhere by Buck’s head and if he had any more strength Buck would slam Chimney’s head right through the doors of the ambulance.

“I know,” Eddie nods, ignoring Chimney’s comment, his eyes suspiciously wet and his teeth biting hard into his lip, holding back what Buck knows is a beautiful smile. Eddie _knows_?

“Just uh- just to clarify…,” Buck murmurs nervously, “When you say you _know_ … what- what exactly are--”

“I love you, Buck,” Eddie blurts out. Maybe Buck isn’t the only one bursting at the seams.

“Well, thank god,” Buck mutters hoarsely, still blinking back tears, studiously pretending Chimney isn’t cracking up behind him. “I mean-- I love you, t--”

The words have barely passed Buck’s lips before Eddie’s pressing his own, gently, so carefully, against Buck’s. There’s the sharp tang of salt and blood on his tongue, mixing together as Eddie cups Buck’s face in his hands like a delicate glass figure he’s afraid of shattering. Buck breathes in the heavy, acrid smell of smoke as they pull back, barely an inch, Eddie resting his forehead on Buck’s. Neither wants to pull away properly.

Buck hardly registers Hen’s cry of _‘fucking finally!’_ up front.

“I love you,” Buck repeats breathlessly, because Eddie hadn’t let him finish the sentence before. The words feel like wings, freeing him from a cage. He’s high on the euphoria of the moment. “I love you. I love you.”

“Alright,” Chimney interrupts, drawing the word out awkwardly, “Not that this isn’t really touching or whatever but ah… now really isn’t the time. We’ve reached the hospital.”

When Eddie pulls away properly Buck can’t stop the pitiful sob that passes his lips at the loss. After his experiences with hospitals thus far, Buck’s grown to hate them with a passion. The thought of being wheeled through those doors and under that harsh lighting alone sends a bolt of terror through his body.

“Eddie-”

“I’m not going anywhere, Buck,” Eddie tells him, squeezing his fingers tighter to drive his point home, “I’m here.”

“You’ll stay?” It’s a desperate, whispered plea.

“I won’t leave your side,” Eddie replies steadily, and it feels like a promise, bound by their linked hands, and the final kiss Eddie presses tenderly to Buck’s brow.


	6. Buck

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope, swear down.”

“I believe you owe me 20 dollars, Buckley.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Hey Bobby, where’d Athena run off to?”

“Went to grab something to eat, you all look like you need it.”

The voices are hushed and whispered, a gentle, rousing conversation to draw Buck from his sleep. He cracks an eye open, blinking hard against the bright lights, and registers a warm hand still gripped in his. Eddie.

The other man is curled, asleep, in the hospital chair closest to him with Christopher fast asleep on his lap too. His head is resting on Buck’s bed by his shoulder and the whole position looks incredibly uncomfortable. Trust Eddie to be able to fall asleep anywhere.

The rest of the hospital room is brimming, overflowing, with people. Maddie’s perched on Chimney’s lap, her head lolling tiredly against his chest, and beside them Bobby, Michael and May are seated in the other three chairs. Hen’s propped herself up on the wall, one eye watching the floor studiously where Karen is sat with Denny and Nia, while Harry’s stood on her other side.

Buck feels a strong tide of emotion at the sight of this group of people; his _family_. The voice in the back of his head that is shocked they’re all here - for _him_ \- is shoved to the back of his mind.

“Buckaroo! About time you graced us with your presence,” Chimney greets, having taken note of the fact that he’s awake. His comment succeeds in kick starting everyone else in the room and suddenly he’s being crowded around, concerned faces and questions and so much love that Buck doesn’t know what to do with it.

“God, Buck, you had me so worried!”

“You feeling alright now, Buckaroo?”

“I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I swear to god, Buck, you’re a walking disaster.”

“Hey, woah woah woah he’s just woken up,” Eddie cuts in sharply, obviously also having woken up himself, his eyes watching Buck carefully, “Let’s step back a little and give him a minute.”

So the group steps back a little, chastised. Buck fights against the well of his tears in his eyes as he shakes his head. “No, I don’t mind,” he assures them, voice embarrassingly torn with emotion, “Really I-- I just-”

He doesn’t know how he could ever express his gratitude for all of them, how he could ever put it into words.

“Thank you all,” he tells them, “For being here and for putting up with me and for- for loving me, I guess.”

“I’d’ve let a building collapse on you a long time ago if I knew it’d get you all sentimental and sappy like this,” Chimney quips.

“And we don’t ‘put up with you’, Buck,” Hen replies, “For some reason, we actually like having you around,” she jokes.

“Of course we love you, Bucky,” Christopher joins in, and if Buck’s heart weren’t already bursting it sure is now. The boy climbs into Buck’s lap, ignoring his dad’s protests, and Buck wraps his arms around him tightly, pushing aside the aching pain across his chest. “I’d say I love you the mostest but I think Dad’s already beaten me on that one.”

Buck’s face burns red as the whole room laughs raucously and he turns to stare wide eyed at Eddie who has ducked his head to hide a sparkling grin at his son’s words.

“How did- But you all--” Buck starts, trying to pretend his heart isn’t jackhammering against his battered rib cage at the thought of everyone in the room knowing. He swings his eyes to Hen and meets her reassuring, supportive gaze.

“It’s alright, Buck,” Bobby speaks up, “Nobody told us. It was pretty obvious when we walked in and Eddie was practically using you as a pillow. We’re happy for the two of you.”

“And glad you finally worked your shit out,” Maddie interjects, “Even if you had to go through yet another life-threatening injury to do so.”

Buck blinks at the emotion behind his sister’s voice at her words. She’s blinking back tears and when Buck’s gaze drops to her hand, it’s gripped tightly in Chim’s like she hasn’t let herself stop being scared yet.

“Mads…,” he murmurs, and that’s all it takes for her to break away from her boyfriend and move the short distance to the hospital bed. Buck leans forward as her arms come up to hold him, Chris still sandwiched between them, and he buries his face in her shoulder, listening to her quiet sniffles as she tries to hold herself together.

“I’m alright.”

“You can’t- you can’t keep doing this, Ev,” she sobs as she pulls away, watery brown eyes meeting his blue ones.

“It wasn’t his fault,” Bobby defends quickly, “That could just as easily have been any of us.”

“Then you need to do something about your shitty luck,” she demands, attempting a wet laugh.

“Damn right,” Eddie mutters from beside him, and Buck’s head snaps towards him so fast it’s a little painful. Eddie’s watching him with wide, red eyes. He drops them to the floor self consciously, looking for a moment like he wishes it was just the pair of them. “I was terrified, Buck,” he confesses, quietly, barely a whisper.

Buck knows there’s more he wants to say but is holding in, until it’s just the two of them. As much as Buck honestly loves the group of people sitting here with him, he too wishes more than anything that it was just him and Eddie.

“I’m sorry,” he tells Eddie, irritated that he always seems to be hurting the people he loves. He turns to address the whole hospital room. “Really. I’m sorry that I made you all worry. You can… you can go home now if you want. I’m alright.”

“Buck, nobody wants to leave,” Hen tells him sternly.

“And you haven’t got a thing to apologise for,” Karen chips in.

“If we didn’t want to be here, we wouldn’t be,” Bobby reassures him, “The hospital wouldn’t even let us all _in_ for a while back there.”

“But they gave in eventually,” Maddie says. “For family.”

And there’s that word again. _Family_.

“God, I love you guys,” Buck sighs, a sad smile pulling his lips upwards. Maddie falls back into his arms from where she’d pulled away to and Buck feels Eddie’s arm wrapping round him on the other side. He doesn’t want them to let go, feels like if they did he’d fall apart completely, shatter into a million pieces. They’re all that’s holding him together.

“Group hug!” Christopher squeals, and Buck doesn’t need to look up from his sister’s shoulder to know that the whole group is piling in. Hen’s soothing hand on his back, Bobby’s arm over his shoulder, Chimney’s fingers around his arm. It’s comforting, and it’s anchoring, and to a passerby it might seem corny but he only grips his family back tighter.

“Would you look at this,” Athena declares from the doorway and Buck glances up from the midst of the pile to see her standing with a hand on her hips, the other carrying containers of food. “I leave the room for a second, and I miss the family bonding.”

Buck watches her carefully, part of him worried that she’ll be irritated that he managed to endanger his life yet again. She distributes the food as the group disperses, back to their original seats, then she approaches the hospital bed slowly, perching on the edge of it.

“It’s good to see you awake, Buckaroo,” she tells him and then leans down to press a soft, distinctly motherly kiss to his forehead.

“It’s good to _be_ awake,” Buck agrees as she sits back up, revelling in the feeling in his chest that feels warm and appreciated.

“One day,” Athena mutters with a shake of her head, “Just one day, it’ll be someone else laid up in this hospital bed.”

Buck wants to protest. Realistically, he’d do anything and everything in his power to ensure that it was him lying here, and not Maddie or Eddie or Chim or Hen or Bobby or… _any_ of them. He doesn’t say that aloud.

“Or better yet,” Hen chips in, “Nobody at all!”

The group agrees enthusiastically.

“Still,” Buck interrupts, clearing his throat when his voice leaves his mouth hoarse. “It means a lot that when I do find myself here, you lot are here with me.”

“There’s nowhere else we’d rather be,” Maddie tells him. For once - just _once_ \- there’s no internal conflict in his head about whether that’s the truth, about whether they truly care or they’re just saying so out of pity. If they’ve shown Buck anything tonight, it’s that they do care. Every last one of them.

He smiles gratefully at his sister.

“How about you promise it won’t happen again though, huh?” Chimney asks.

“You know I can’t do that,” Buck laughs, shaking his head at the pleading looks on everyone’s faces.

“Oh, come on, Buck,” Eddie joins in, “Humour him, go on.”

The pleading, verging on desperate look on Eddie’s face is what breaks him. He gives in with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Alright, alright,” Buck concedes, “I promise I’ll _try_ not to end up in the hospital again. Good enough?” He asks, glancing around at his family with raised eyebrows.

“It’ll have to do.”

Eventually the group of them begins to disperse in little clusters - first Hen and Karen with their kids, and then Bobby and Athena with theirs, Maddie and Chim leave reluctantly not long after but only once Eddie’s promised to take good care of him.

“Trust me, I won’t be taking my eyes off of him,” Eddie reassures them as they depart. Only once they’re gone does Buck address him with a smirk.

“Is that so?”

“You know it, dumbass,” Eddie scolds, but there’s no annoyance in his voice - just pure _fondness_ \- and that’s enough to set Buck’s pulse thundering. Eddie slips back into the chair beside him, with a glance at where Chris is still curled up, now asleep, under Buck’s arm, and presses a gentle kiss to Buck’s cheek. Buck decidedly does _not_ blush.

“What do we do now?” Buck asks Eddie uncertainly, eyes flicking over his wide brown eyes and flushed cheeks. He knows he was pretty out of it on the ambulance ride to the hospital, but it would take a lot more to get him to forget Eddie’s words, and the kiss they’d shared.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…,” Buck flounders for words, “What are we, Eds?”

“What we’ve always been,” Eddie replies, leaning closer so that he can slip his arm around Buck far enough that he has a grip on his son too. Buck relaxes back into the touch, feeling like he can finally, truly exhale.

“Family.”


End file.
